"Marriage, as instituted by God, is a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union of man and woman joined in an intimate community of life and love. They commit themselves completely to each other and to the wondrous responsibility of bringing children into the world and caring for them. The call to marriage is woven deeply into the human spirit."
Excerpt from Between a Man and a Woman - Copyright 2003. United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, DC. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

Marriage is a life-long emotional investment. It pays to nuture your relationship, for a healthy marriage brings life to the entire family. Plus the family, with your marriage at its base, is the foundation of church and society.

Marriage Resources

Books (Can be borrowed from the Family Life Office)
A Daring Promise by Richard R. Gaillardetz
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: How You Can Make Yours Last by John Gottman
Christian Marriage: The New Challenge by David M. Thomas. Explores contemporary concerns; and excellent book for both Catholic and interchurch couples.
Marriage: A Covenant of Seasons by Mary van Balen Holt. Every marriage has seasons of dreams and disappointments, fears and hopes. The author shows how each season affects a couple's communication patterns, family dynamics, intimacy needs and prayer life.

Website
http://www.foryourmarriage.org/

Marriage Enrichment Opportunities

Anniversary Day Celebrations with Bishop Mark
Held each fall for couples celebrating 1, 25, 40, 50, 55, 60+ years of marriage in the current calendar year. Pre-registration, usually six weeks to a month before, is necessary through your own parish. Watch for announcements in your parish bulletin or contact your pastor. Couples may attend at either location.

Weekends for Couples
During the weekend, couples explore the dynamics of marriage using the insights from family systems, theory, and Catholic spirituality. Presented by a team which includes married couples. Interfaith couples welcome. The weekends also serve as marriage preparation for engaged couples, so see the Engaged Couples Weekend schedule for dates and locations. $250/couple includes room with double bed, board, materials. Pre-registration through the Family Life Office required.

Marriage Encounter Weekends
For couples who want to make a good marriage better! An intense weekend based on couple communication. Dates and more info at http://central.pa.wwme.org/.  To read about one couple's experience of attending a Marriage Encounter weekend, click here.

Newly Marrieds
Your first few years of marriage may go relatively smoothly or may be quite bumpy. Remember that the Church faith community cares deeply about you and is there to support you.

Website: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/

"Foundations" Newsletter -- Couples who have attended our Marriage Prep Series or the Engaged Couples Weekend automatically receive this. Others can subscribe at: http://www.foundationsnewsletter.net/

"First Years & Forever" e-newsletter: http://www.familyministries.org/subscribe.asp

Your first anniversary:
Come celebrate it with us at the diocesan Wedding Anniversary Celebrations. Also celebrating will be couples observing their 25, 40, 50, 55, 60+ years of marriage. They need your presence and you might enjoy their example of fidelity. No matter which month you were married, if your first anniversary falls in this calendar year, you're invited. Pre-registration, usually six weeks to a month before, is necessary through your own parish. Watch for bulletin announcements in your parish bulletin or contact your pastor. Couples may attend at either location: the Cathedral in Altoona or in Johnstown.

What Can a Parish Do for its Married Couples?
There are so many things that parishes can do to highlight the importance and the beauty of the Sacrament of Marriage, such as:

   ~Mentioning marriage in the General Intercessions

   ~Blurbs in the bulletin about marriage

   ~Offering couples the opportunity to serve together as volunteers

   ~Mentoring engaged couples

MARRIAGE CELEBRATIONS - Samples of how parishes in our diocese acknowledged marriage around World Marriage Day (early February).

     -Marriage Building Parish - Questions & Answers

     -Is Marriage the Invisible Sacrament in Your Parish?

     -Can Your Parish Help Prevent Divorce?

Interfaith Marriage
The challenges are real for interfaith couples, but we are here to support you. Most important is that you keep a strong connection with God and with a particular faith community. Letting one's religious practice slip hurts a marriage because you no longer are in touch with God whose strength, mercy, forgiveness, and boundless patience you need. For much more info on marrying a Protestant, Jew, or Muslim, see http://www.foryourmarriage.org/.

Natural Family Planning (NFP)
Have you heard of this family planning method?

• ~Husband and wife share the responsibility
• ~Enhances marriage through open communication, commitment to a common ideal, deep respect for each other, creative expression of a couple's love, thorough understanding of one's sexuality
• ~Environmentally safe - no health risks (based on observing bodily signs of fertility)
• ~Works with your body's natural rhythms, not against it
• ~Effective with irregular cycles, also during breastfeeding, menopause
• ~Scientifically researched, 98-99 % effective
• ~Church approved
• ~Helps infertile couples conceive

Registration Form or Contact the Family Life Office for:
* Individualized instruction by certified instructors throughout the diocese
* Presentations
* To talk with an instructor before you decide

Learn more at www.ForYourMarriage.org or www.familyplanning.net

Support for Stressed Marriages
A stressed marriage hurts as much as a physical ailment, and the pain affects others in the family as well. Divorce isn't a cure for a hurting marriage, just a different kind of pain. Being faithful to your vows entails obtaining help when your marriage is suffering. (If you are being abused, the Church doesn't expect you to stay and take it.)

* Catholic Charities offers affordable counseling from pro-marriage counselors.
* Many couples have saved their marriages through Retrouvaille (Couples weekend for troubled marriages). Free introductory video and brochures from Family Life Office.
* Go together to your pastor, asking for his blessing so that you and your spouse can fight the problem as a team instead of fighting one another.

Parish Resources from the Family Life Office:
- "Discouraging Divorce" presentations to parishes and organizations
- Free pamphlet on specific ways to discourage divorce

Books: (Can be borrowed from the Family Life Office)
You Don't Have to Take It Anymore by Steven Stosny. Shows how to turn your resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one. This is an extraordinary book for both spouses (or just one) to read to change their role and heal the marriage.
The Courage to Love...When Your Marriage Hurts by Gerald Foley

If you are tempted to divorce, read:
Thinking of Divorce? Think Again: Seven realities you need to know
by Lorie D. Fowlke, JD. Written by a divorce attorney who describes the monetary, legal, and emotional nightmare of a divorce. "A must-read book for anyone who is seriously considering divorce." - Stephen R. Covey

Should I Stay or Go? How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage, by Lee Raffel, MSW

Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce
by Elizabeth Marquardt. A child of divorce shares her story and interviews of other grown children of divorce. Even "friendly" divorces bring lasting inner-conflict to children, who move between the two differing worlds of their parents.

Website: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/

Pornography

"Eyes Wide Open" booklet--this 18-page booklet explains how good people slip into addiction to pornography, how to protect your family, and how healing happens. Available from the Couple to Couple League International, Inc. Call 1-800-745-8252 or view their website: http://www.ccli.org/

Pornography & Marriage
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2354) says this about pornography:

• It perverts the conjugal act, the ultimate giving of spouses to each other.
• It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public) because each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others.
• It immerses all who are involved into the illusion of a fantasy world.

Pornography can quickly become addictive. It is a "mood-altering" experience with dangerous, far-reaching effects in a marital relationship.

Resources:
Catholic Charities offers affordable counseling.

"Pornography" by Thomas M. Santa, C.Ss.R. (a tiny, $1 pamphlet from Liguori Press) Offers a helpful discussion of the many facets of this far-from-victimless activity and how we can confront its effect in our own life.